tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13370428.post8668065746602809664..comments2024-01-23T00:20:46.682-05:00Comments on Where I Am: Who's the boss?Christy Duffyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13192519166354022489noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13370428.post-83254522286060403462013-03-20T23:26:01.079-04:002013-03-20T23:26:01.079-04:00Beth - your story is so cute! I can just see every...Beth - your story is so cute! I can just see everyone running to get him up!<br /><br />NftP - Thanks for your kind words. And I appreciate your feedback; I should have been more clear that I don't think permissive parenting "caused" the rape; I think the lack of oversight created an atomosphere conducive to the violent act. In hindsight, I wish I'd made that more clear. Thanks for helping me see that.Christy Duffyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13192519166354022489noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13370428.post-74694465367310982132013-03-19T17:20:23.205-04:002013-03-19T17:20:23.205-04:00I've been reading your blog for years now and ...I've been reading your blog for years now and your and Sean's parenting has absolutely wowed me. It's not so much your explanatory posts like this, though they are excellent, but more the way your kids seem - as young people who both respect and love their parents - kids who have been trained with an incredibly difficult balance of the requirement that they be respectful of your authority, and still learn, grow, think, find who they are meant to be, and have fun. IMO yall are awesome parents.<br /><br />I expect permissiveness did play a role in the rape case. They had no brakes on their self-indulgence or their horrible judgment. I can't really say that the rape itself is about that though. It's never just crass self-gratification or bad judgment, it's a degradation of another person, a violent dehumanizing of her, that's not about too-permissive raising. I will agree that being raised to respect authority and not do whatever they wanted because they could might have put the brakes on the drinking which in turn might have made them think twice about the trouble they'd get in for violating someone. But bottom line, no peer egging-on, or inhibition-dampening substance causes the values that let them even consider treating a woman/girl this way.Nostalgic for the Pleistocenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04369449719832190810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13370428.post-33134986549827424582013-03-19T02:37:11.970-04:002013-03-19T02:37:11.970-04:00Hi Christy,
Interesting comparison. Sad story, tho...Hi Christy,<br />Interesting comparison. Sad story, though, eh? But it reminds me of how the first time Josiah climbed out, I put him back in and explained he couldn't get out until somebody came to get him, showing him how that would work. The next day (and thereafter) we'd hear this little voice calling out, "Somebody, somebody, somebody, somebody, somebody." The kids about fell over each other trying to get to that sweet little fella. <br />Beth DelaneyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13370428.post-48212264073040443532013-03-18T12:07:30.151-04:002013-03-18T12:07:30.151-04:00Sean - we've learned this lesson the hard way ...Sean - we've learned this lesson the hard way at times, haven't we? Thankful for forgiveness and new starts. Love you.Christy Duffyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13192519166354022489noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13370428.post-90996896658992988992013-03-18T11:58:43.962-04:002013-03-18T11:58:43.962-04:00Amen. We're called to be parents first. Even...Amen. We're called to be parents first. Eventually that relationship will change and we'll become more like friends. But that's after a parent-child relationship built on respect for God-given authority exercised in love.Seannoreply@blogger.com