Bridal Shower Etiquette That Shouldn't Have to be Said

June is upon us and that can only mean one thing: wedding season. And wedding season means bridal showers. As a seasoned veteran of many, many, many bridal showers, I thought I’d list the top three things to do at a shower. One and two are helpful; three is most important.

Number 1: Buy off the registry. Strapped for cash? Buy the least expensive thing on the registry. They really want that stuff.

Number 2: Not important – skip to Number 3.

Number 3: Under no circumstance should you mention that the groom once dated or wanted to date you. Never say that. Never. Ever. Ever.

I was at a shower recently where everyone gave a brief bio on her relationship to the bride. Most people knew her from her church or college. Instead of sticking to that script not one but two ladies felt the need to mention that the groom once asked them out. The first one who said it got an uncomfortable laugh from the group. But the second woman’s comment was truly cringe-worthy: “He tried to date me first, but when I turned him down he went for you.”

How does anyone, ANYONE, think that kind of comment is okay?

The bride was incredibly gracious and appeared to pay no attention. I, though, was fuming. I thought about spilling my punch on her, but my Southern-ness got the best of me and I let it go.

So, as you prepare to attend bridal showers this summer, please remember to buy the lovely couple something from their registry and be on time for all bridal events (that’s Number 2 but should go without saying – early is on time; on time is late). And most importantly, leave the stories about previous encounters with the groom at home. Seriously. No bride wants to think she’s getting sloppy seconds, even if it’s clear she is the better woman.