The book club's first meeting went well! We focused on the importance of the husband/wife relationship and on different feeding philosophies, parent-directed feeding vs. demand. The mom who was opposed to the book came and she was a welcomed addition. She was honest and admitted she had concerns, but was there because her first-born didn’t sleep well and she was tired! When I talked to my sister (who is a counselor and had her own difficulties with the material) today she offered some interesting insights to this mom’s concerns and I hope to be more in tune to those as we progress.
I must admit I felt like a dinosaur in that living room. One of the women there was older, but her first is only two and she’s expecting her second, so she seems younger. And the majority of the ladies there were in their late 20’s… it just doesn’t seem that long ago, but when I think that I had Rebecca at 29 and she’s now finishing second grade, well, I guess I really don’t fit in that demographic any more.
Quite honestly, I don’t think I’d want to go back to the baby stage. I’m having a blast with the kids now that they’re older, and when I think of all the opportunities we have as a family now that I’m not stopping to nurse or having to make sure someone can nap, well, the world is completely our oyster. Okay, maybe not the world, but our little corner of it is! And I cannot help but think that the principles in Babywise and the following books have helped make our fun family life possible. That’s what I really want these new mommies to understand. It’s hard work in the first several years, but the rewards you reap later make that work so worthwhile.
I honestly hope and pray that the women you are teaching will have milk capacity and hormone cycles and babies whose growth spurts and stomach size "fit" with the Babywise ideas.
ReplyDeleteAnd that you and the mothers you encourage will have wisdom when to have flexibility and common sense to early know when it isn't "working" for the baby.
Also, I suggest you make sure each mother has the most recent edition of Babywise. It's changed a lot since you had your oldest.
Grace and peace,
TulipGirl,
ReplyDeleteI, too, pray the moms I'm talking to have flexibility and common sense. That's exactly what I'm promoting. I want them to know their baby, to know when he's hungry, or tired or just plain fussy and needs a good cry. I also pray they hear me say there is no parenting book with all the answers.
Of course, if you'd read my "I Heart Babywise" post you'd have known that.
By the way, I like this "Grace and peace" sign-off much better than the "shrug" you offered before.
Thanks,
Christy
I am enjoying your blog and the controversy surrounding babywise. For some reason, it is hard for me to comment-I made one once (I was anonymous who commented on your first post-I did babywise 13 years ago with Sarah). I didn’t mean for it to be anonymous. I will keep trying.
ReplyDeleteBabywise is so controversial! And it was when we did it. However, the older generation (my mother) totally believed it and she was my best babysitter because she believed babies should only be fed every 4 hours! I did not have the emotional strength to wait that long, but honestly my mom could baby-sit and let the baby cry for 3 and half hours. I think when the Ezzo’s had children everyone on the block was on a 4 hour schedule so it was not an issue.
Sarah turned out great! We loved Babywise, (David and I) but I don’t know that I would promote it today. Is there not something else that you could teach that is consistent with routine and order, but without the Ezzo bad feelings surrounding it?
Their basic premise is something that I feel is useful for all children, I just think their style and application turns people off. It would be hard to take that class knowing the controversy (I mean as a new mother today). I think you have so much to share and I love that you want to help. Perhaps you could take their outline, and make it your own.
It is hard when mothers feed and hug and rock their baby, and they are made to feel like it is “wrong” because you are doing it at the inappropriate time. One of the joys of being a mother is being able to comfort a crying baby. Is there anything more endearing than the way babies look at you when you are nursing? I am tearing up now thinking of my first baby, and those precious moment that are now such a distant memory. Those first few months whiz by, and you never can have that time again. A newborn!!
The best time for the ezzo’s strict application may be the late baby stage-like 6 months and up.
Tracey
I've used Babywise with my daughter and had a lot of success with it. My daughter is a really happy baby and I credit a lot of it Babywise. The only time she crys is if she's hungry or tired and thanks to BW I know which one it is and am able to comfort her.
ReplyDeleteI too had concerns about milk supply before I started after reading all the negative reviews. However, while the schedule is important it's also important to take growth spurts and other issues into consideration. Regardless what the book says you are still the parent and responsible for the well being of your child. That is why I no longer pay attention to the negative reviews about milk drying up or baby failing to thrive, b/c they made the choice not to feed their baby when he/she was hungry and can not blame the book. BW is a guideline not an absolute.
Kate -
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment.
Christy
There is a more current book out there that uses the same basic premise, "The Baby Whisperer." (Or maybe she's got 2 books out now; I lost track.)
ReplyDeleteShe's all about the correct order of the schedule -- eat, play, sleep -- as well as the empowerment as a new mom (which is most of the battle, IMO) that you CAN do this! One of her maxims is "Begin as you mean to end," which means not to start something -- bringing the baby into your bed, walking or rocking the baby to sleep, etc. -- that you don't intend to continue doing when the child is older and weighs 2-3x as much as when he's a newborn.
I'll bet your library has a copy, or I'd be happy to send mine to you if you'd like.
/tina