Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Not alone

Sometimes when I’m writing, I think, “This will really resonate with people!” I can pretty much guarantee when I think that nothing comes of it. Other times, I write because I just have to get the thoughts out of my head and into some semblance of order. I don’t think much about who can relate or what kind of page views will come – I just have to get the tsunami of emotions out of my head and onto paper. (Fine, onto the screen – but that doesn’t sound quite as poetic.)

Monday was like that; I had to write it all out. I wasn’t sure anyone else would relate, and I was pretty sure some people would think I needed medication (and by some people I mean my immediate family). But apparently, lots of people have similar thoughts about their babies going to college. Good to know I’m not alone!

My sweet friends Anne and Melissa reminded me that this is not the end of the world. Which I knew of course, but the reminder was needed. Anne said she loved all stages of motherhood, but was really looking forward to being friends with her kiddos. Melissa, who recently became a grandma for the second time, said watching her children grow into mature adults who make the faith their own is a joy. I wholeheartedly agree with both of them.

And while I am mourning the loss of the known and the role I’ve played for the past 18 years, I am looking forward to having Sean all to myself again.  I will be an empty nester at 48. Y’all, that is young. Young! Sean and I have talked about what we’ll do and where we’ll go – maybe an overseas assignment or move to a condo in some bustling metropolis – who knows? What I do know is I picked him – these kids just came along. I love them dearly, but I love their daddy more. And it will be pretty darn sweet to quit sharing him as much as I do right now.

Of course, I have few more years of this day-to-day motherhood gig to go. Six years, actually. They will absolutely fly by. I’m sure by the time we pack the baby off to college my need for medication will be lessened. Or not. I’m tearing up just thinking about it!