The fall of Michael’s senior year of high school, we were
gearing up for his graduation. We were preparing transcripts and applying to
colleges and sending out save-the-graduation-date cards to family members all
around the country. And with each task I cried, sometimes just a tear or two,
other times I was overcome with emotion and couldn’t stop the flood.
Fast-forward two years and we’re playing the same game
with Amy. Transcripts, college applications, graduation planning – the whole
nine yards. Oh, and the crying. Still lots of crying.
People told me the second time around would be much less
emotional because I’d know what to expect. Those people are ridiculous; the
second time around has been just as emotional, if not more, precisely because I
do know what to expect. She’ll be at school, and I won’t be. And sometimes that thought hits me at
unfortunate times. Like when we’re having new friends over for dinner.
Last weekend, I invited a new family from church over.
They are new to our area and to homeschooling, so we were talking about all the
options Lansing has to offer homeschoolers. They said they were being careful
to not overschedule their sons in this first year of this new schooling
venture. Very wise – wish I knew how to think like that… Anyway, I told them
about a class Amy teaches and that they should really consider that for next
year.
Sean, Rebecca and Amy all looked at me like I’d lost my
mind. And then it hit me. Amy won’t be here next year.
I’m crying just typing that.
I made that, “Try not to cry even though it’s a losing
battle,” face. I tried really hard to hold back the tears. I should know by now
that I’m incapable of that. So, in front of these new people, who, up to that
point, thought I was a nice, normal person, I cried like a baby.
Yep. Crying again.
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