Monday, September 08, 2014

Husband, we have a problem

Dear Sweet Husband,

We have a problem.

Last week, I found some great deals on a few Land’s End items for you. Polos, a sweater and shorts. New, never worn. 70% off! They would look great on you.

But I am holding them hostage until you actually get rid of some of the stuff in your closet. More precisely, I am holding them hostage until you get rid of some of the stuff you've had in your closet since before we got married. Which was almost 22 years ago.

Now, I understand that your size has not changed in lo, these many years. And by, “understand,” I mean I don’t understand at all. I think I've been eight different sizes since we got married. As a result, the only thing in my closet that’s older than our marriage is the sweater I wore when I met Amy Grant in 1984. So I get that there are some things we want to hang on to – like your drum line jacket from high school. I wouldn't dream of asking you to get rid of it. But all the other stuff that you just keep pushing back on the rod because it still fits has to go.
Honey, some of those shirts are plum worn out. The collars… they’re just bad. The shorts… no surprise which pocket holds the wallet. Maybe the benchmark could be if it's older than our move to Michigan, it has to go... How does that sound? 

For some time now I've asked you to give a few shirts from the closet that can go to Goodwill. Not one shirt has left your closet. So I’m resorting to putting this on my blog in the hopes that this will spur you on towards a closet clean-out. This and the new stuff I'm not washing until I see a few things leave your side of the rod.

As always, I am here to help.

Much love,
Your wife