Wednesday, January 17, 2007

The "No Talent" Contest

American Idol kicked off its new season last night. All I have to say is, “Don’t those people have any true friends?”

We told the kids we weren’t going to watch it because I cannot stand the way the judges make fun of the contestants. But it’s like a bad wreck; you don’t want to watch but you just can’t help yourself. So we found ourselves watching about thirty minutes of AI after Michael and Amy finished basketball practice.

There were several contestants who had absolutely no hope whatsoever of being moved on to Hollywood. The one my heart broke for was this guy -- he thought he could sing and he thought could dance. He could do neither. But the major travesty of his audition was his mother. She was reassuring him that Simon, Paula and Randy were just wrong and her beloved son would, in fact, be famous one day.

Look, I’m a mom, too. But for crying out loud, if my kid was as bad a singer as her kid, I would have locked him in his room and kept him there until AI was cancelled to help my child avoid the embarrassment her child suffered last night. Moms don’t do their children any favors by lying to them. I mean, we all tell our five year olds they can sing like angels and dance like Ginger Rogers. But when they are teenagers we have the responsibility to tell them the dadgum truth. That mother should be shot for encouraging her son like that.

The show was two hours long and well over half that time they showed the worst of the worst. And most of those folks had people there waiting for them. All I could think was, “Have you ever heard your friend sing? Because if you had, you wouldn’t let her be here right now!” Why aren’t these friends telling the aspiring idols to stick to singing in the shower?

I can barely stand to watch the show in the early part of the season because I literally hurt for the people getting slammed by the judges. I have to change the channel, much to the chagrin of my children. But I actually feel so badly for these deluded folks – I just wish I were there doing some pre-screening. I’d be sweet, but honest: “Honey, that is a lovely look you’ve got going there. Maybe you want to concentrate on another aspect of stardom. Maybe you could be a stylist, because you sure can’t sing.”

Oh, shoot! I’ve gotta run. Episode 2 started five minutes ago!