Saturday, February 24, 2007

The Chef Speaks!

Well, Chef Cookaloni emailed me his account of the hot chocolate incident. It is very, very funny! I'm sure we'll all be relieved he's recovered nicely. The parenthetical comments are mine:

"It was a chilly evening outside and especially cold in the basement because I refuse to run the space heater. Molly and I were relaxing under blankets (Now I know why you won't run the space heaters!) in front of the TV when I decided to warm up with some hot chocolate.

I am still working out the best method to make the perfect cup. The ingredients are simple, water and Swiss Miss. The trick is getting rid of those baracking lumps. (Those lumps will get you every time.)

With my strategy formulated, I decided to heat the water first and then stir in the mix with our new battery powered whisk. This, I thought, was a fool-proof way to achieve complete suspension. I dispensed the appropriate amount of water into a Tupperware dish and heated it in the microwave until boiling. Then I added the hot chocolate mix and began to whisk.

I quickly discovered, however, that the whisk was insufficient. It couldn’t reach the corners of the dish and it was splashing the beverage onto the counter. With apologizes to Sean, this is where I should have “taken 2 for safety.” (GM-speak meaning before starting a project, stop and make sure you have all the appropriate safety equipment and tools to do the job. It also means having a backup plan in case of emergency. Ol' Cookaloni neglected many, many of these steps.) Instead, like a moron, I quickly decided to lid the dish and combine the ingredients by shaking vigorously. It was only a matter of physics from there.

As you might imagine, only a few shakes were required for the steam pressure inside the vessel (Vessel? You mean, mug, right? Engineers and their big words.) to overcome the airtight seal at the lid and an explosion of boiling hot, semi-mixed hot chocolate ensued. The cabinets, blinds, and counter recovered nicely but the walls may be a fresh coat of paint away from full recovery.

In case anyone is wondering, I’m fine. The plastic surgeons were able to reconstruct my face and most experts agree that my vision will return shortly. (Not content with being a chef, Jeff has branched out to comedy...)"

So, the mystery of the hot chocolate has been solved. I think Jeff has learned a valuable lesson: tell your wife in the first place or your foibles will be published on the web.

Man, I am so lucky to have friends like this. We all need folks in our lives we can be stupid in front of. And I need friends in my life who won't mind when I end a sentence in a preposition.