Sunday, February 11, 2007

Time for a Vocab Quiz

I’m not proud of this, but occasionally I have a problem with swearing. Actually, I don’t have a problem; I’m very good at it. A well-placed curse word can do wonders to sum up a problem or punctuate a statement. But since I’ve had children my swearing has caused a few problems because I don't like the, “Do as I say, not as I do” concept. (I try very hard not to swear in front of them, but we are in the car together a lot.)

Well, the other day I was listening to Neal Boortz talk about who would be the Democratic candidate for president. He was talking about how the race is really going to be between Hillary Clinton (save us from that!) and Barack Obama and it dawned on me that “Barack Obama” sounds like a swear word. Say this out loud: “What the Barack Obama are you two doing down there?”

I mentioned this to Sean and he didn’t seem all that impressed, but I was determined to give it a try. So when the time seemed right (about two seconds after I told Sean of my amazing discovery) I yelled, “Barack Obama, why aren’t those kids in bed yet?”

The kids didn’t think it was that funny but I did. And when you’re a homeschooling mom who just doesn’t get out that much anymore, you’ll take any laugh you can get.

I’ve got nothing against Mr. Obama. And quite honestly, if he can keep Hillary from winning the nomination I’ll be deeply indebted to him. (No delusions here, though. She’s going to cream him in the primaries thanks to stupid women who will vote for her because she’s got a vagina and because she wants to give health care to everyone. And who’s going to pay for that? Is she going to plant a money tree in the Rose Garden? But I digress...) His name is a near-perfect substitute for a several not-so-pleasant words that have become rooted in my vocabulary and if simply saying the name “Barack” will transplant them, I’m all for it. I’m sure Sean will be on board, eventually, and the kids, too. But if my new slang never catches on, I'll just say, oh well, what the Barack.