Monday, September 22, 2008

Reality Bites

We are back from Chicago. I thought the weekend away had refreshed me, given me new vim and vigor for the next stretch of homeschooling, recharged my batteries and a whole host of other clich├ęs that mean I was ready for a few more weeks of life. That refreshed feeling was sucked out of me 3.5 seconds after the garage door announced our arrival. Dang. How can I go from being so relaxed to feeling stressed out simply by walking through the door?

So it was back to the grind today. After being gone only the weekend I didn’t imagine having a hard time getting in the swing of things. I was incorrect. Over the weekend I enjoyed not getting breakfast for anyone but myself. Ditto for lunch and dinner. I enjoyed talking about stuff I’m interested in, like where to eat lunch and dinner. I was not at all excited about working on Amy’s insect collection, nor did I relish the idea of reviewing never-ending lessons of Algebra I with Michael. Rebecca’s borrowing with subtractions I could handle but didn’t really want to.

Nothing has made me more aware of my sinful, selfish heart than homeschooling. I am no different than the kids: I want what I want when I want it. I’m just more adept at making my selfishness clandestine.

Thankfully the Lord’s mercies are new each morning and tomorrow I will grab hold of them for myself and in turn try to offer them to my children.

It would be a whole lot easier if they would just do everything my way. Which, I'm sure, is exactly how God feels about me.