Monday, April 27, 2009

Jury Duty

I think I’m the only person who loves jury duty. I’m fascinated by the whole law and order side of our government and honestly think if I had to do it over again I’d go to law school. (Sean says I can argue like no one else.) So this weekend when I got a letter from my county’s jury board I was pumped – I thought it would be a jury summons. The letter was only a jury questionnaire but that’s a step in the right direction.

The questionnaire came with a self-addressed stamped envelope. After I answered the questions, (“Do you speak English?” “Sí.”) I folded the paper back up like it came and placed it in the envelope. However, when I attempted to seal the envelope I realized the questionnaire wasn’t folded so that it would fit in the envelope.

Now, folks, folding an 8 ½ X 11 sheet of paper is not rocket science. It’s folding paper. And not even origami-type folding – it’s two simple folds to make the sheet fit into a standard-size envelope. I’m pretty sure I figured out how to do this in grade school. And I bet the jury board has a nifty little machine to fold all those papers – can they be so incompetent that they can’t use it correctly?

Government at work. And you want these people to run your health care system?

I’m willing to cut these folks some slack; anyone could mess up a setting on a folding machine. And scrapping the papers and re-folding a new batch would be wasteful. But screwing up folds on a jury questionnaire doesn’t compare to messing up doctor’s orders or a prescription refill or anything having to do with life and death medical decisions.

It sounds all gumdrops and lollipops to say, “Let’s have universal health care!” If you want the government to run your HMO or PPO, fine. But forcing that on everyone doesn’t sound very American to me. And I don’t want people who can’t figure out how to fold a piece of paper getting anywhere near my medical records.

I contemplated sending a copy of this along with my jury questionnaire. But I’m afraid I would never be selected for a jury again. And if (when) universal health care is enacted I’m sure this would put me near the top of the list titled, “Do not treat.”

The questionnaire and SASE - the envelope came partially sealed. Nice. Notice the line I drew on the crease, which should still be visible when the questionnaire is inserted.

The envelope with questionnaire inside - notice the blue line isn't visible. (Pretty sure I need to get outside and do something more productive now.)