Tuesday, April 20, 2010

5K Update - it's not pretty

Dear GR River Run Committee,

Would you consider letting me run your race indoors?

See, I signed up for this race in a weak moment. I’d never run at all, much less outside. I thought a good place to start was on a treadmill inside a climate-controlled room. And I was quite proud of myself for working up to running three whole minutes at a time. All indoors. All while I watched the Today show and practiced reading lips because you need an FM radio to listen to the show at the Y and I don’t have one.

Anyway, my daughter, who’s also running the race, thought today would be a good day to practice running outside. I figured she was right – the race is going to be outside and we should see how we do in the great outdoors. The answer: not well. First of all, it’s chilly at 7:30 in the morning. My ears got really cold and even now, 30 minutes later are only beginning to thaw. But that wasn’t the worst part. The worst: the cold in the lungs.

We’d only been jogging two minutes when I realized I wasn’t breathing. It hurt too much to inhale. I don’t know about you, but breathing’s pretty important to me. But because Amy and I agreed to run to a particular point and because someone told me running is 95% mental, I pushed on. I now believe I have suffered jogging-induced brain damage because before I started jogging if I couldn’t breathe I’d stop what I was doing and figure out why. But not now – no, I just kept going to our appointed walk point.  When I reached it I announced loudly enough for passengers in passing cars to hear, “I CAN NOT BREATHE!”

Your race is scheduled to begin at 8 in the morning. It is two weeks away. I don’t imagine the Michigan weather is going to miraculously warm up in those two weeks. And I don’t think I’m going to be able to learn to jog without breathing in those two weeks (or, frankly, ever), so I need you to let me run indoors. I’ll bring a signed something from the lady at the Y – she runs marathons and, when I told her I was going to run a 5K said, “Well, that’s awfully ambitious of you.” Nothing like a little encouragement… But I digress.

If you could tell me where I need to send my, “I ran a 5K indoors” form, I’ll get right on that. And you can have my t-shirt waiting for me when I come to cheer on my friends who are more brain-damaged than I am, which I know because they are running the 10K.