We went to a wedding this weekend. I love weddings and everything about them, especially the part where I sit back and think, “Hoo boy, they have no idea what they’re getting into.” So much hope, so little of it based in reality.
It’s no fault of the couple; nobody gets married thinking, “One day, I will yell at this man because the kitchen trash had not been emptied in four days,” or, “She’s making the chicken casserole again?” Anyone who knows Sean knows the first scenario would never happen; the second, however, did, and in my defense it was the only thing I knew how to make when we got married.
Until recently I always identified with the bride on her happy day. Funny thing happened this weekend: I saw myself more in the mother of the bride than the bride. Now that threw me for a little loop, let me tell you. If Michael gets married around the same age I did, we could be having a wedding in six years. Y’all, do you know how short six years are? And if Amy follows suit I could be the mother of a bride in eight years. That is a dadgum blink of an eye.
As I sat watching the mother of the bride on Saturday I wondered how I’d act as the MotB. And the first thing I’d do is insist I get to walk her down the aisle with Sean. Because it is not right that the mom gets sashayed down the aisle to watch the proceedings while the dad and bridesmaids and photographers and latecomers get to stay in the back with the bride. Not. Right.
Which leads me to the other change I’ll make – we’ll have none of this giving away nonsense. I’m all for, “And who accepts this young man?” because really, he’s going to be around a lot and should probably hear us say welcome to the fam. But I am not about to say, “I give you away.” Because I won’t. I could get behind, “Who presents this woman to be married?” But give her away? I don’t think so. (To all my church friends who are nearly apoplectic upon reading those words, be assured that I know the reference to Genesis, leaving and cleaving and all that. I get it. I understand it. But I don’t have to like it.)
I mentioned some of my concerns to Sean who didn’t seem concerned at all. He said something about them not even dating yet.
Well it's never too early to plan.
If you don't like/agree with the Bible, is that ok?
ReplyDeleteToo funny! Yes, let them date first before you have them married off.
ReplyDeleteAndrew - actually, yes, it is okay if I don't like something in the Bible. What matters is if I do it anyway. Notice I didn't say, "I'm going to encourage her to identify with her family of origin." I just said I didn't like what it asked of me. Do you enjoy dying to self? All the time? But you do it, right?
ReplyDeleteMaybe you'll look back on this with a tad bit of understanding when you're thinking about giving away your little girl.
MHWTV - Yes, there was a little jumping of the gun this weekend!
LOL, I still remember Keith's brothers wedding when all of a sudden I realized I was "the sister in law" who comes with the few little kids and is not in the wedding but spends the day chasing the little kids around while Keith had fun being in the wedding party. I felt old then...I'll stay there in that era for awhile...I am not ready to identify with the mother of the bride although I am older than you!!
ReplyDeleteAs Christians, we should follow all of the Biblical wedding ceremony requirements. The traditional/cultural ones should be relatively insignificant. The Bible is largely silent regarding wedding ceremony so I think you should feel free to make whatever changes you want.
ReplyDeleteI always joke with Cody that I'm picking his wife and moving in with them to be sure he's taken care of...I can't imagine why he is thinking about moving to Alaska when he is older. :)
ReplyDeleteAmy K.