Saturday, April 26, 2008

I'm all for "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" when it comes to stains

Two of my baby cousins are pregnant with their firsts. And yes, they are my baby cousins, even though they are college graduates who are married with husbands and houses and careers. I will always consider them my baby cousins. The older I get the more I enjoy deluding myself. That river in Egypt runs through my head regularly.

Anyway, one of these cousins, Ashley, who is expecting a girl, recently wrote that she loves all the new, sweet miniature clothing people are sending her. And then she wrote, “I do realize … that she will spit up and potentially poop on half of these dreamy outfits in the two months they fit her.” I could not contian my laughter at this comment. “Potentially” poop? I wrote back, “Oh, sweet Ashley, there is no ‘potentially’ about it; your darling, wonderful angel will pee and poop on practically everything, and you will be up to your elbows in dirty miniature clothing for, oh, about the next 18 years, (although the years will bring bigger clothes and bigger messes).”

I resisted the urge to explain the “blow out” and how there will be times when salvaging the onesie is not worth the effort because the amount poop will be entirely too great for any detergent to adequately address. There are some things new moms have to discover for themselves.

My only suggestions: Shout stain cleaner and Clorox bleach pens. Stock up now. And get ready to amaze yourself that you will be able to clean pee and poop without throwing up because, although it is pee and poop, it came from your baby’s bottom, and that will make it okay. Not fun, but certainly okay.

Here's my personal stash - and seconds after taking this picture I had to use the Shout on Rebecca's dress. I don't ask what I'm stain-sticking anymore; I just spray away and hope it all comes out in the wash.