I’m down to one kid again – Amy’s in Atlanta for a pre-birthday celebration and Rebecca’s at the lake with our neighbors so Michael's back to being an only child. Sean and I took him out for Mexican Saturday night. The first time we took him out to eat with us he was four weeks old and we went to a Mexican place. It was fun to have him to ourselves and to tell stories about the times it was just the three of us.
We were finishing up our burritos as group of young ladies walked in; it was a bachelorette party. Each girl was wearing a tank top labeled with her part in the wedding: Bride, Maid of Honor, Bridesmaid. They got settled and the Bride began putting straws in everyone’s cups. Trust me when I say these were not ordinary straws; they were anatomically correct straws for a part of the body she didn’t have. Her mother was there. Mom didn’t look too thrilled about the straws. The bride didn’t put one of the penis straws in Mom's cup.
I wasn’t thrilled about the straws, either. Here I am, sitting in a Mexican restaurant with my husband and 15 year old son and we’re watching young 20-something girls laugh about drinking out of penis straws.
Just that morning Sean and I attended a parenting conference and the speaker, Dr. Ted Tripp, made it clear we need to be aware how our culture has made an idol of sexuality. Teenage girls are getting breast enhancements as birthday presents. Appearance trumps a good heart and wise mind. And things that would have been done in secret years ago are now accepted and encouraged.
Tripp said parents have to find ways to show the beauty of God’s design to our kids in a culture that doesn’t value what God values. We will be swimming upstream but, as Dory says, “Just keep swimming.”
That, of course, applies to all things, not just sex. But at that moment the sex part came to mind because eight little pink penises complete with accompanying balls were staring at me from the next table over.
We took the opportunity to chat with Michael about the scene. Did he rise up and called me blessed for imparting such wisdom? Um, no. He’s a good kid but he’s 15 and he most certainly didn’t want to be talking with Mom and Dad about plastic penises (peni?) and what that represents in our world today.
We walked out just as their party was really getting starting. Sean gave Michael the keys so he could drive us home. I thought back to our first Mexican dinner with Michael -- I had him all safe and secure in his car seat. I wished I had a big one of those for him now.
(For the record - I'm not completely opposed to novelty straws or things of that nature. A good friend of mine recently showed me a pen that looked exactly like those straws and we had a great laugh over it. She'd gotten it at a Romance Party which is like a Pampered Chef show except the cooking you'll do if you buy something will not be in the kitchen. Well, I guess it could be... I’m just saying that there is a time and a place for everything and 6 pm at the family-friendly Cancun Grill wasn’t either.)
It's a very difficult time in which to raise kids. I don't have to tell you how hard it is to find decent clothes for girls. Even for the kindergarten set! The last few years my daughter has shopped in the men's section for shorts at an acceptable length (and so they don't look like they need to be peeled off). Glad at least for the fashionable layered look since 2-3 layers of shirts provides a modicum of modesty since you know one of them wouldn't begin to cover (in size or density) much of anything on their own.
ReplyDeleteGood points, Kim. I'm wondering whether it's harder to raise girls to be modest these days or to raise boys who value girls who are.
ReplyDeleteChristy, I would have loved to have heard Dr. Tripp, too. Thanks, again, for giving me fodder for thought -- and much prayer.
Argh! It never ceases to amaze me how clueless and tasteless our culture has become. I agree - it's hard to raise kids today and get them to understand a healthy sexuality as compared to what our demented culture makes of it. You did the right thing by making it a 'teachable' moment, though -- Michael will remember that long after he has left the teenage years behind.
ReplyDeleteKim - I am definitely thankful for the layered look!
ReplyDeleteTina - Dr. Tripp was amazing. I highly recommend his book The Age of Opportunity.
Catherine - This is an interesting time to parent because we can't completely withdraw from the culture. And that wouldn't be wise, anyway. Teaching how to function within the sex-crazed culture is the challenge.
Thanks for all the comments!
Attention husbands: If you wife is considering attending a Romance Party, encourage her to do so. You will not regret it.
ReplyDeleteOkay, Chef, that's just about enough information from you tonight.
ReplyDelete