Monday, May 17, 2010

Prayer and pills, too

Before we moved to Michigan, a friend, who'd recently made a move from Georgia herself, told me not to be surprised if I thought I was depressed after the move. She said she didn’t think her move would affect her the way it did – she was only moving two hours from home and she could easily go back to see her family whenever she wanted. But she found she missed the regular contact she was used to, and making friends proved more difficult than she’d imagined. “Give yourself two years to feel normal,” was her advice. “And don’t be too proud to see a counselor and get some help.”

Her story caught me off-guard. Her picture is in the dictionary beside “out going.” She’s super-friendly. She’d always had a passel of friends and was active and busy and thinking of her as lonely just didn’t compute. Thinking of her depressed shocked me.

Six months after our move I completely understood. I absolutely would have seen a counselor if I didn’t have two in-house; my mom and my sister talked me off many a ledge those first two years.

I guess because we have so many counselors in my family I don’t recoil at the idea of seeing one. Heck, I often tell my kids, “I paid for my counseling – you’ll pay for yours.” But the number of people, especially Christians, who think depression is a sign of weakness, or worse, a result of sin, blows my mind.  A recommendation to see a counselor is often met with disdain. Don’t even think of discussing going on meds…

Which is why I’m so thankful my friend Catherine recently recounted her story:
…I began to feel completely overwhelmed by life. I was sad all the time and I found it increasingly difficult to function normally in the real world. The smallest things would upset me out of all proportion. I was exceptionally angry. And I sat paralyzed at my computer for more hours than I care to admit, unable to do anything. It was a dry season that lasted far too long.
Finally in the middle of one dark January night I seriously considered downing all the ibuprofen in my medicine cabinet, figuring that Costco's large economy size bottle would do the job. I searched my heart as I thought about taking this step, reminding myself that there WOULD be people devastated by this action I was contemplating.
But I really didn't care who would be devastated. I didn't care how hurt they'd be or how bereft my absence would leave them...

I can’t recommend her post enough. Read it if you’re struggling. Read it if you know someone who is. And read it even if you don’t fall into either of those categories because one of these days you will.

Thanks, Catherine, for your honestly and vulnerability. I can’t imagine how many people you’ll help by being so open.

(Click here to read her entire post.)

6 comments:

  1. Thanks for sharing C! Hope you're having a good start to your week...

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  2. I debated with myself for quite a while about opening up that part of my life to the public, but I felt led by the Lord to do so -- because no one in the Christian culture would really talk about it! And it needs to be out there in the open, not tucked away behind our plastic Christian "Happy-Happy-Joy-Joy-in-Jesus" smiles.

    Thank you for supporting me with your encouraging words all along. They have always touched me when I needed it!

    Hugs,
    Cath

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  3. I agree it's shocking the number of believers who hold the position that a "true" Christian can't ever be depressed. The climate is a little better these days with counseling not being viewed in such a negative light, but the stigma hasn't been entirely erased either. I hope Catherine's post is read by those who really need to hear her encouragement and sound advice.

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  4. It really is a wonderful post - we SO need to admit the hard parts of life, and not do, as Cath says, the always-happy thing! Thanks for bringing it up here, too.

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  5. Wow. I moved 600 miles away from my comfort zone last year. It was so exciting but so nerve wracking as well. Although I love where we live, I miss having friends. We don't know anybody here ( except a few neighbors) And I started getting really depressed last spring. So this for me hits home! Thanks for sharing

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  6. Thanks for the comments. I so appreciate Catherine being bold enough to put herself out there. I've received several emails wanting me to thank her. So consider yourself thanked, Catherine!

    Krystie - I don't know if this will help or hurt, but it took a long time for new relationships to form. Some folks told me to count on six months - it took more like two years before I felt like myself again. It was another few years after we found and got involved in a wonderful church that I really felt good here. Please don't hesitate to email me if you need to talk to someone who's been there.

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Hey! Thanks for commenting - I really appreciate it!