Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Bo and Luke never got tickets

Today’s public service announcement: when driving on a two-lane road, do not pass the car in front of you unless you are absolutely, 100% certain it is not a police car. Especially if you’re going 20 over the speed limit. Because there’s no getting out of that ticket.

I’d driven up to take Michael to dinner and run some errands. We had a great evening, but after I dropped him off at his dorm, I was ready to get home. I turned left on Meridian, a long, straight country road, and saw a dark, empty stretch of flatness in front of me. When this city girl sees an expanse of pavement with no cars in sight, she wants to get a move on. And she did.
I’d gone a few miles when I came upon another car in my lane. It was barely going the speed limit, so I easily and quickly passed it. One more mile down the road and I got behind another car. It was going a little faster, but there was plenty of room in front of him, so I pulled out to pass him, too.

And just as I did that, the blue lights started shining.

I pulled over, got all the paperwork ready, rolled down the window, put both hands on the wheel. I was ready to say, “Hello, Officer,” except he didn't give me the chance. He said, somewhat incredulously, “Did you know you were passing a policeman?”

Oh, yes, Officer, indeed I did. I saw you right in front of me and thought, heck with it. I’ll throw caution to the wind, blow by you and see if you can catch me in my Chevy SUV. ‘Cause that’s how I roll.

In a moment of great restrain, I said, as politely as possible, “No, sir, I did not realize that I was passing a policeman.” 

(In my defense, those back roads are really dark. And I really didn't have any idea how fast I was going. Not a great defense, but that's my story and I'm sticking to it.)

Ten minutes later I was on my way, ticket in hand, driving a much more law-abiding speed, bemoaning the fact that I’d have to take back the really cute dress I bought that very day in order to pay the ticket. Thankfully he cited me for only 10 over…

Did I mention my son’s girlfriend was in the car with me?

Good times. Good times…

The moral of the story: do not pass unless you are certain the car in front of you is not a policeman. Of course, if you're Bo or Luke Duke driving the General Lee, you can pretty much pass anyone you want. Because you're in a television show. And the tickets don't count. But everyone else should just go the speed limit.

Man, do I wish I drove on a TV show.

Claim to fame: This particular Dukes of Hazzard car was featured in the opening shot as the General Lee jumps over a police patrol car. It was bought by PGA Tour golfer Bubba Watson