Thursday, December 10, 2015

Still not crafty

The optimist in me overrode the realist because I was up until 2 this morning trying to make fancy Christmas bows.

What was I thinking?

Anyone remember this little post from a year ago – the one where I tried to make fancy bows from wired ribbon? I made one bow that fell apart seconds after I tied it to the banister. And I never made any more, because I decided it was better to have a naked garland than have Rebecca hear her mother swear like a sailor while attempting to tie bows out of ribbon.

But somehow I thought this year would be different. This year, I would finally succeed at making pretty bows and my garland would be beautiful and lovely and everyone who saw the bows would think, "Wow! Christy is just like Martha Stewart!"

With that delusion front and center, I looked up a few YouTube tutorials and thought, “I can do this. It’s just a bow, for crying out loud.”

Famous last words.

Red ribbon, silver ribbon and burlap sparkly ribbon – each one beat me. I could not make a bow out of any of them. Those ribbons just mocked me. They looked up at me and all but screamed, “Ha ha! You have a college degree but you can’t tie a fancy bow! Loser!”
An hour and a few choice words later, I threw the ribbons back in the plastic bag they’ve been in for a year and will be taking it to Goodwill this afternoon. Let someone else deal with their pretty colors and fun sparkles and their unlimited prospects of fancy bows. Someone who can twist and hold and twist and hold and make the once-flat ribbon turn into a beautiful, tree-topping bow. Someone not me.

This time next year, please remind me that I'm not Martha Stewart and ribbons are not for me. No matter how easy those YouTube videos look.