Gotta know when to give

I am very fortunate that, unlike many of today’s politicians and Hollywood elites, Sean has no skeletons in his closet. He is a faithful husband and loving father. He is as decent in private as he seems in public. And he’s been that way as long as I’ve known him. Friends and family who've known him even longer agree: he is a genuinely good guy.

But there is one secret few know. It’s a love he discovered shortly after our marriage and it took me by surprise. I knew we’d have our differences – what married couple doesn’t! - and I knew we’d have to compromise on certain issues; I just never imagined I’d have to give on this front. But after seeing the joy this newfound love brought him, I caved and welcomed four more ladies into our marriage: Shelly, Denise, Terry and Heather, otherwise known as Point of Grace.

Point of Grace released their first album a year after we were married. And Sean fell hard. Hard. Those tight harmonies, soaring orchestrations and encouraging lyrics just did him in. He loved everything about the group. We saw them in concert several times and with each show and consecutive album, he was convinced they were the best thing going.

Four months ago, I found out they were coming to Jackson for a Christmas show. As a bonus, Aaron Shust would be with them. Aaron was a worship leader at our church in Atlanta and Sean has fond memories of playing in services with him. Major score for the wife! I bought 5 tickets and kept it a secret from Sean. I just told him to mark off that afternoon.

It got a lot easier to keep that date clear because two days after I bought those tickets, Amy Grant, the woman I brought into our marriage, announced she’d be in Grand Rapids the very same day. I was inundated with texts and emails, telling me about the show. Sean caught wind of it, and I knew he’d buy tickets for that and tell me to chuck the other plans because he didn't know Point of Grace was even coming to town. I cut him off at the pass and said, “Oh, that afternoon is blocked off for the Amy Grant concert. I already have tickets.” He didn’t give that one more thought. Of course his wife already had Amy Grant tickets! That was a no-brainer.

Both concerts were last Sunday, and until lunch that day, he was convinced we were seeing Amy Grant and Michael W. Smith that night. I had the Point of Grace tickets wrapped up and as the five of us sat around our lunch of soup and sandwiches, I handed him a package and said, “Merry Christmas! Here’s the first gift of the season!”

I can’t remember I time I saw him so confused. Or genuinely excited.

We made our way down to Jackson for the show and it was wonderful. Aaron and his band were amazing. It was great to hear him in person again. And those Point of Grace ladies did not disappoint. Even though they are now a trio, their harmonies were as perfect as ever. Sean loved the entire show and I racked up some serious wife points.

When we got married, I controlled the CD player. And that CD player played a steady rotation of Amy Grant music. I was upfront about who I was bringing into the marriage. And as much as I initially begrudged having to share CD space with Point of Grace, I must say they really grew on me. I am glad we welcomed them in to our lives. I enjoy them almost as much as Sean does. But not quite.

Thankfully, we love each other most.

Picking music is tricky business

We are having a problem at our house right now. Sean is in the process of picking music for the adult choir to sing for Christmas. He’s digging through all his music – and there is a lot of it. He’s got music dating back to the late 80’s when he sang with several different church choirs. He’s got stuff put together by his dear friend Wade who could make the most average singers sound glorious. He’s got music that he collected from times he accompanied for random choirs. The amount of music he has stored around this house is insane.

This is only a fraction of the music he's accumulated over the years. 
All those notebooks - full of music.

And it all seems unnecessary to me because I have already provided several excellent (if I do say so myself) pieces. All of mine have composers named Grant and Smith – quality, quality composers. But nothing he’s pulling have those names in the upper-right corner.

I don't know why he's looking any further than this...

I’m sure the composers he’s picking have written some good stuff. He played some through some pieces with titles of, “O Come All Ye Faithful” and “Joy to the World.” Classics to be sure. Then he played something by Rutter – sure,  he’s done some decent work. The Cambridge Boys Choir sing his pieces so he’s definitely got that going for him. But has his work been performed by the Nashville Symphony? 

Fine. It's a classic. I'll give him that.

I mean, yes, Sean is incredibly gifted in the music department. No doubt about that. He can look at a piece of sheet music and know exactly what it will sound like. Just the other night, he was helping Rebecca tune her ukulele just by humming the correct pitch. So it seems deferring to his judgement would be the wisest course of action. But I play a mean iPod and feel my selections should be in the running.

Discussions are on-going. Updates to follow.

Random Thoughts, Birthday Edition

Yesterday was my birthday: #45. When I called my twin sister to wish her a happy birthday, she reminded me that I’ll always be older than she is. She does enjoy those extra six minutes of youth. Gotta love little sisters.

I asked my mom how she felt having a 45 year old and she said it didn't seem possible. Michael turned 21 last week; I completely understand how she feels.

It was a regular Wednesday with Bible study and soccer and youth group – no time for a formal celebration, but everywhere I went, people wished me a happy birthday. That was very, very fun!

I also got a bazillion Facebook “Happy Birthday” notifications. Each message was a reminder of friendships, old and new. What a lovely thing to think about – I don’t think I’ll skip wishing someone HBD on FB again.

Sean and Michael were both out of town yesterday and I heard from them via text early in the day. But by 3, I still hadn't heard from Amy. I was beginning to think she forgot when I saw her blue Camaro driving up the street.

Her present to me:

 Sandals with no socks!

She does love me. She really, really does.

Mrs. 45-Year-Old spent some time listening to Miss 19-Year-Old's favorite album, with the volume very, very loud:

Look at that temperature: 63! It was a beautiful, sunny day! No snow in sight. What a wonderful birthday gift.

After youth group, Amy, Rebecca and I went for a birthday ice cream. Missed the boys, but it was a great time with my girls.

Thanks for all the FB love, in-person hugs and well-wishes. For being a normal, hump day birthday, it was pretty grand.

Happy birthday to me!

Christmas music 101

To say the advent of digital music has changed the way we buy and listen to albums is an understatement. (Do people even call them albums anymore?) We buy one song here, another song there… Who listens to an entire album from start to finish anymore?

Why does that matter? Because it means that some people do not know the correct way to listen to the all-time best Christmas music album of all time, Amy Grant’s first Christmas album. And that, my friends, is a real problem.

The album has three songs that, in order to be fully appreciated, should be listened to back-to-back. Start with Preist dem Koing, then move right into Emmanuel, and then to Little Town - tracks 3, 4, and 5, in order and without stopping. Do. Not. Stop. The. Songs. And you will have seven minutes of the most perfect Christmas music.

No need to thank me. Your enjoyment of the music will be thanks enough.

(What are you waiting for? Go listen! Here's a link: Amy Grant's A Christmas Album)

Teach the children well

In addition to loving the heck out of their kids, moms need to pass on all kinds of information to their precious offspring. Important info about faith and values. Info about how to handle a budget and do laundry and cook basic meals. Info about manners and not wearing white shoes after Labor Day (yes, this is still a rule). And of course, lessons about good music.

My kids may not know how to cook and the instructions on sorting the laundry have gone out the window at college. But one of my dear babies caught the music lesson and I couldn’t be happier.

Last week, Amy called to say she was in the Christmas spirit. Apparently, she missed the lesson about not starting Christmas before Thanksgiving… I was about to read her the riot act about not missing the joys of the November holiday when she said, “And the first Christmas album I listened to was Amy Grant’s A Christmas Album!"

Be still my heart! She did listen to me!

Since that album came out in 1983, it’s the first Christmas music I’ve listened to each Friday after Thanksgiving. Sean has graciously accepted this Christmas music rule, so hearing the beautiful chords of Tennessee Christmas and Emmanuel and Love Has Come are the first sounds my family has heard on Black Friday for lo, these many years.

My babies may have to learn to boil water in their own apartments, but they will never forget the correct music to start the Christmas holiday season. And that’s a lesson that will never go out of style. Just like not wearing white shoes after Labor Day. 

She's found my, "Stuff I should get rid of but can't" box and is now the proud wearer of my treasured Unguarded tour sweatshirt. She said the last time she wore it, someone stopped her to say she loved the sweatshirt. "How old was she?" I asked. "Old. Like you." Good thing I love that girl.

Gloria Grant

I realize I don't know Amy Grant - no, seriously, I do. But I am rather invested in her life, so I guess I shouldn't have been surprised I teared up a bit when I heard her mother, Gloria Grant, passed away Saturday.

From everything I've read over the years, Mrs. Grant was a devoted and supportive mother. And Amy Grant has always spoken so lovingly of her mom.

I love this video of Amy Grant and her mom on the Oprah show - I'm sure it will be a bittersweet memory, but how wonderful AG got to give this gift to her mom.



Thank the Lord for Heaven, and that Mrs. Grant is no longer suffering but is fully restored, praising God in his presence.

Use it or lose it (and fans)

This will not come as a surprise to anyone: I am a fan of Amy Grant. Have been for 30 years. I started out with vinyl. When the cassette tape Walkman was all the rage I re-bought the albums in cassette form. Ditto for CDs. I have attended 36 concerts, been a fan through thick and thin and only waivered momentarily during the divorce.

I frequently check out her website; why, I’m not so sure. Because her official website is not very official. Blogs that are rarely updated, technical issues that prevent you from viewing her (very sporadic) tweets, a news section with the most recent update from April... In this world of instant everything if you’re going to have a presence on the web you need to actually, oh, I don’t know, update it.

My biggest beef with the site right now is about the tour page. At our small group get-together Tuesday night I learned that Amy Grant will be in Jackson, Michigan this January. Did I learn about the show from the website? Oh, no! I learned about it from my friend, Keith.

People. I should not learn about these things from Keith. I should learn about it when I check out the Tour section of the official Amy Grant website.

I think I’m done with that website and I’ll probably not even go to the show. Hrumph.

Of course, those tickets would be a great Christmas present…

(And on the way-off chance that AG’s manager Jennifer Cooke reads this – I would do a great job writing a blog for the website. You mentioned all the social media stuff was a lot of busyness that felt overwhelming – I’d be glad to take some of that off your plate.)

Screen shot at 12:20 am, Wednesday, August 5

It is May 5, correct?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but today is May 5. It's a Tuesday, which is when new albums are released. And Tuesday, May 5 was the release date given by Amy Grant's fabulously talented PR people for her new EP, She Colors My Day. Amy Grant's website also announces a big, bad redesigned site to coincide with the EP's release on May 5.

So why am I not seeing the EP on iTunes? And why does her website look exactly the same today as it did yesterday?

People, come on. It's 10:02 am. Pretty sure you've had enough time to get the computer's fired up this morning. Heck, she hasn't had any new non-Christmas music released in five years. Isn't five years enough time to have prepared for this? And for crying out loud, it's only two new songs, and you're re-releasing "Baby Baby?" Please.

Under-promise and over-deliver is Sean's motto. Wish he ran the show over at Friends of Amy.

(Just so we're clear, my discontent is with her management. Surely she has nothing to do with this... denial works for me. Don't spoil it with facts.)

But this is great news!

GRAMMY ® Award Winning Singer/Songwriter, philanthropist and mother, Amy Grant will release her first new, non-Christmas music in five years with the release of She Colors My Day EP exclusively on iTunes ® the week of May 5 and in partnership with the skin care brand philosophy.

Grant will debut two new songs for Mother's Day: "She Colors My Day", a fun pop-song about a mother's love for her daughter, and the beautiful soul-stirring "Unafraid" which is a tribute to Amy's own mother. Available May 5 with a debut exclusively on iTunes ®, the 4-song EP also includes classic Grant hits "Baby Baby" and "Oh, How The Years Go By". The colorful music video for "She Colors My Day" will have an exclusive Amazon.com debut on May 12.

"I'm so glad to be releasing some new music," says Grant. "I've been working on a lot of new material and two of the new songs seemed to fit perfectly for a special Mother's Day release. ‘Unafraid' is motherhood from every angle -- partner, parent, caregiver - a perspective that every 40-something mom knows all too well. And ‘She Colors My Day' makes me smile thinking of how my own daughters brighten up my life."

Amy Grant and songwriters Cristina Carlino (philosophy founder and creator) & Stuart Mathis are donating all artist and publishing royalties generated by the sale of the song "She Colors My Day" to the Entertainment Industry Foundation's Women's' Cancer Research Fund.

She says she's glad she releasing new music - she has no idea how glad I am! At least no one will have to wonder what to give me for Mother's Day. I just hope they don't mind if I buy it for myself a few days early.

(I'm trying to ignore the fact that whoever edited this press release doesn't know the basics of punctuation. Commas and periods go inside the quotation marks. Plus the uneven use of dashes in paragraph three is giving me a bit of heartburn as well. And what's the extra ' doing at the end of Women's? I am a dadgum stay-at-home mom and I can edit better than the yahoo doing this gig. So much for trying to ignore it...)

It's better not to know

Sean and the kids are at Easter choir practice this morning so I had some time to myself. I intended to do laundry (because, dadgum it, those hampers keep getting filled up) and sat down at the computer to fire up a podcast I’d been waiting to listen to. But there was also a new Amy Grant song someone told me about so I thought I’d give it a listen first, then get to the podcast and commence folding.

Two seconds into the song I realized the laundry would have to wait.

Amy (I pretend I’m on a first-name basis) performed the song “It’s Better Not to Know” last week at Tin Pan South, a songwriters’ workshop in Nashville, and someone recorded it and posted it on YouTube. I’d read the lyrics a few weeks back after they were posted on AG’s website; I couldn’t wait to hear the music, especially after reading the backstory to the song. Here’s what she wrote:

We're working on a song called "Better Not to Know" that Cindy Morgan and I wrote. My Grandmother Grant died in the spring of 1988 when my first child was 5 months old. We planted a field of fruit trees in her memory....little leafless sticks with promising root balls. I lived on that farm another ten years... Had two more children there, and then life took a few unexpected turns.

When I left the farm I left behind the shade of those 75 trees that had grown into a thick canopy over our heads. They never had any fruit.

Eventually, the farm was sold.

Then this past summer I got a phone call. The current owner of the property had had the surviving fruit trees pruned; the farm next door had started keeping bees. My grandmother's trees were loaded down with peaches and pears and apples.

When Cindy came to my house last fall, I had just made my first batch of pear preserves. We talked and ate and wrote this song.

She recounts this story on the YouTube clip. And hearing her tell it in more detail, then hearing lyrics I’d read set to music just put me over the edge. I cried and cried and cried.

I cried for her; I know she’s only a voice on a record but her songs got me through junior high, high school, college and my early married years. When Sean and I were struggling so I would listen to Faithless Heart, Sure Enough, Find A Way, Who To Listen To and resolve to fight the good fight. I’d read stories about her marriage struggles and think, “She’s hanging in there; I can, too.”

Then she didn’t. She got divorced and my world was rocked. Why had I believed her? Why didn’t she fight?

All questions with no answers.

And I was mad.

In the years following the divorce stories leaked out about her ex-husband; her pastor said she had Biblical grounds for divorce. But more importantly I grew up a bit. I realized if I’d had a gazillion dollars in the bank and a country superstar waiting for me, I may have bolted my marriage, too, biblical grounds or not (now I'm so glad I didn't have that option!). And I realized she’s a human. Not exactly where I should have been putting my faith all those years, anyway…

So when I heard this song my heart just broke for her. And with a few more years under my belt I identified with it.

We sowed our seeds

Watered with tears

Waiting for signs of growth

Took months of days

And then took years.

We took our steps

We took our falls

Somewhere along the way

We just got lost

And we lost it all.

Nothing ventured nothing gained

The risk of living is the pain

And what will be will be anyway

Oh, it's better not to know

The way it's gonna go

What will die and what will grow

It's better not to know

Those tiny stems became these trees

With dirt and storms

And sun and air to breathe

Like you and me

And some fell down

And some grew tall

And those surviving twenty winter thaws

Have the sweetest fruit of all

But innocence and planting day

Are both long gone

So much has changed

And if we got to do it all again...

It's better not to know

The song starts at 6:33.

I just want to read!

I got a book in the mail today. Not just any book - it's the brand new book by Amy Grant, Mosaic, Pieces of My Life So Far. My friend, Karen, sent it to me. I guess it's accurate to say Karen is my friend; we've never laid eyes on each other but have communicated via email for the past several months. A friend of a friend put us in touch with each other because Karen's writing a book and I fancy myself a bit of an editor. I've enjoyed reading her work and hope in some way I've helped her.

I don't know Karen well, but I do know one thing that makes me instantly like her: she is a major Amy Grant Fan. Yes, we are capital F fans of Amy Grant, and both of us have been for years. So when we found out that her book would be out this October we were thrilled. And in a lovely gesture, Karen offered to buy me the book to thank me for helping edit her work.

The book came in the mail today and I cannot put it down. Well, I don't want to put it down, but shortly after I started it I then had to get lunch ready for my children. Ugh, did they really need to eat?! I should have made them get cereal so I could continue reading.

When lunch was finished I thought I could sit and read a bit, but no. Someone had a question about Dog Jack, someone else couldn't remember how to add two-digit numbers, someone else needed help diagramming prepositional phrases. ARGH! I just want to read my book!

After I wrote that paragraph someone needed 30 minutes of help with Wordly Wise vocabulary. Do these children not understand the Amy Grant book came today? Hello???

In the height of my Amy Grant fandom heyday, when a new Amy Grant record would be released my Mom would dutifully drive me to the Christian Armory bookstore on Lawrenceville Highway where the staff knew me by name. They'd usually have a copy reserved for me, along with whatever promotional posters or pictures they didn't need. I'd take the tape home (I felt so advanced that I'd progressed from vinyl to cassette tapes) and play it over and over and over again. I'd read the liner notes and go over the words of the songs as she sang them. Endlessly. Just ask my sister.

And now, the new Amy Grant book is here and I cannot read it.

I know you're thinking, "Well, quit typing about it and go read it!" But the problem is as soon as I sit down to read a child will need something. With this I can type as I get a moment here or there. (For instance, I've been adding to this post for the last 90 minutes.) With her book I just want to sit and savor the words. I really don't want to start reading about her life and then have to stop to encourage someone to practice the songs the piano teacher assigned as opposed to Jingle Bells, which was not assigned.

I guess I'll just have to wait until tonight. I'm sure I can find a way to carve out a piece of my life to read about hers.